This debate is now closed.
Should couples have a divorce ‘cool-off’?
Couples experiencing marriage problems should have a compulsory three-month “cooling-off” period before they can start divorce proceedings. Should marriage be promoted?
A report commissioned by ex-Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith says the delay would allow estranged couples to reflect on their marriage and explore the possibility of reconciliation before making their split permanent.
Mr Duncan Smith said research suggested young people had “incredibly high expectations” of marriage and that the idea of compromise by couples “seems to have disappeared”.
Do people take marriage for granted? Are expectations of marriage too high? Is it too easy to get a divorce? Should couples be encouraged to attend relationship counselling?
Read the full story
Send us your story ideas
Published:
Sunday, 12 July, 2009, 20:25 GMT
21:25 UK
All comments as they come in
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 20:51 GMT
21:51 UK
Rather than making Divorce harder, I think that there should be a 'cooling off' period before Marriage.
There's more than a grain of truth in the saying 'Marry in haste, repent at leisure'
For example, my sister was 19 when she married and only moved into the family home on her wedding night - she was divorced within three years.
My wife and I were 25 when we moved in together. We lived together for nearly a year before we married. We've just celebrated our 19th Anniversary
[GovernmentBoffin]
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 20:44 GMT
21:44 UK
No. When I seperated from my wife I moved out as the rows were horrendous. My wife and kids stayed in the house, I had to move into a bedsit and could hardly cope with two sets of bills. Was I supposed to wait 2 years for all the finances to be sorted out? I didnt claim benefits or legal aid and Im still recovering now. This is a bad idea!!
Tha saint, Merseyside
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:52 GMT
20:52 UK
Monogamy aka marriage is unnatural and hence the divorces.
Neil Bhatt, Toronto, Canada
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:49 GMT
20:49 UK
My marriage went through hell and back - affair (him) , lies (him) , debt (us), disrespect (us) and alcoholism (him). After me throwing him out we had 3 wks to cool off followed by a few councelling sessions - then serious hard work ie putting our marriage 1st. And here we are now together , happy and respectful with a positve future ahead of us . We married too young too soon ( aged 21 after 8 months) but we've lasted longer than our friends. If we can do it anyone can.
leigh, glasgow
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:46 GMT
20:46 UK
it should depend on the situation, I know people who have divorced then stayed together as they get more as 2 singles on benefit.
If one party is being abused then there shouldn't need to be a cooling off period as in those 3 months the abuser could use it to work their way back into the others life knowing that a divorce cannot be obtained.
dean stockton, Leeds, United Kingdom
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:45 GMT
20:45 UK
Why bother to get married in the first place? What a waste of energy and money!
Gina Penn, Montreal, Canada
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:43 GMT
20:43 UK
IDS is going after the wrong target. We need a change in government policy which is currently anti-marriage.
I don't think divorce is a decision that anyone takes in an instant. We already have services such as Relate that offer help. However if one of the parties is intent on divorce, they will not make use of the services currently out there and a cooling off period will make little difference, except to prolong the misery!
Russell James, Wirral, United Kingdom
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:39 GMT
20:39 UK
Total nonsense...do you actually think that someone wakes up one morning and says today I will get divorced,,,many months of tearful decision making goes into the process and adding another 3 months would just exacerbate the problem.
It may be that years and months before individual selfishness should have been put aside but by the time it has come to the divorce decision it is all too late
[oldsitkaspruce]
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:30 GMT
20:30 UK
Is marriage really necessary?
You meet as friends, live together as friends then when the time comes to part, you part - as friends!
It is impossible for people to possess anything of each other so why bother with legal formalities? - We came into this world owning nothing, and will depart from it in the same way - If people want to gain something from each other, clearly there was no love between them in the first place.
In so many ways the institution of marriage is so much rubbish.
Jon Tee
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:27 GMT
20:27 UK
This is another case of the do-gooders wanting to enact laws to sort out the not-so-do-gooders.
If this misfortune becomes law, just arrange for your divorced three months before your marriage and then perform monthly updates.
Walter Wilson, Los Angeles, United States
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:22 GMT
20:22 UK
My sister-in-law benefitted from quite an extended period of reflection demanded by Swiss law...
By the time it came to making the telephone call that would have ended her marriage, she decided not to make it, and she and her husband have worked things out..
That was about 16 years ago... Of course in this case her husband did not want the divorce and was prepared to let her take as long as she needed. She would always be the only woman for him... I suppose that is not very common these day
Melvyn Smart, London
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:18 GMT
20:18 UK
Hey, come on, think about it. Is the human being programmed to a monogamous relationship? Forget about what clerics tell you. What man or woman hasn't looked around and said WOW she or he is is a bit of alright. This is stage one, albeit harmless, of re-consideration. Live life to the full, if long term marriage suits you that's fine if not; don't do it.
Dave, Sydney, Australia
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:18 GMT
20:18 UK
Based on the way the courts view the separation of assets and obligations, any guy that gets married these days should literally have their head examined.
Walter Wilson, Los Angeles, United States
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:15 GMT
20:15 UK
Do I really care that a publishing firm or 15 publishing firms are trying to print the first Michael Jackson book? In 48 hours. Hey. You can take a WHOLE week.
I like picture books or reference and because I needed some fresh air about 30 minutes ago - I bought 3 copies of todays Hello mag for £2.00 ea, with a nice memorial.
And do I need any book?
And do I believe that the girl who wears a wrist chain with a heart on it - knows life better than I?
Some things matter in life
Nick, s/shields - written in sand
|
Added:
Monday, 13 July, 2009, 19:12 GMT
20:12 UK
No! What if you are in a violent relationship. If you are an adult, your decision to end a relationship should be respected. Are we back in that so-called santitiy of marriage argument. It usually has something to do with women being children. My friend told me that the happiest day of his life was when his mother devorced his father. He had watched too many times as this drunken man dragged his mother down the street by her hair. If you were meant for each other, devorce does not count.
Mary Gravitt, Iowa City, Iowa, United States
|
|
This Have Your Say is
CLOSED
DEBATE STATUS
Total comments: 506
Published comments: 428
Rejected comments: 26
From Have Your Say
|
News and analysis
